Saturday, September 26, 2015

Time's a Wasting

Ellis drove at a sedate twenty-five miles an hour down Rt. 45. Beside him, Arnold watched as cars passed them like they were standing still, which, essentially, they were. When an eighty-year-old grandma honked and whizzed past, Arnold had to say something. 

“Do you know where the gas pedal is?” he asked. “Even this pathetic piece of Ford junk can go faster than this.”

“Can’t speed up just yet,” Ellis replied. 

Arnold withstood another thirty minutes of slow torture before he broke down. “We need to get this over with, Ellis. Speed up!”

“In just a minute,” Ellis said and checked his watch.

“What are you waiting for?” Arnold asked. “Christmas?” 

“Nope,” Ellis answered. “Waitin’ on him to die.”

“What!” Arnold shouted and turned all the way around in the seat. “He was supposed to be dead two hours ago!”

“You didn’t hit him quite hard enough,” Ellis said. “He was still breathing when I rolled him up and put him in the back.”

“Why didn’t you hit him again then?”

“You kill, I drive. That’s the deal.”

“I can’t believe you! I should hit you over the head too. Nobody would blame me. It’d be a righteous kill,” Arnold stated. 
“No need to be that way,” Ellis said.

“Stop the car and let’s get this over with!” Arnold snapped.

“No need,” Ellis replied. “He’s dead by now. We’ve been driving for two hours and it’s a hundred and twenty in the shade. Why do you think I’ve been driving so slow?”

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Pot Smoking

The noxious odor was getting more unbearable by the minute. Travis hoped Kyle got back with help soon. Judging by his labored breathing he wouldn’t last much longer. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. If he lived through the ordeal, he would never listen to Kyle again. Just sneak in and steal a couple bales, Kyle had said. No one will notice. But notice they did, and in a big way.

Travis had just picked up the first fat bale when the barn doors flew open and a guy the size of a truck ran straight at him. If he hadn’t held the bale in front of himself, Travis believed the guy would have killed him when he knocked him to the ground. As it was, his chest felt like it was caved in and he was sure a couple ribs were broken. 

If the human truck had had his way Travis would already be dead. He had already doused Travis in gasoline by the time his friend arrived. Thankfully, his friend had other plans for Travis. Not that Travis was sure that was any better. He could just imagine what these guys did to people who stole from them. Actually, he was tired of imagining what they would do to him. He had already scared himself half to death thinking about it. 

He would rather spend his time trying to hold his breath to avoid the fumes and thinking about Kyle rescuing him. At least he hoped Kyle was coming back. After the two guys had left, Kyle whispered through the door that he was going for help. Travis had no idea where he was going. They were miles from the nearest town. Pot farmers didn’t plant their crops in the city limits. Maybe Kyle was going to try and get to cell range and call the cops. He hoped Kyle found someone, whoever it was, and made it back before morning. That’s when the guy in charge had said he’d be back.

He had almost given up hope when he heard a loud crash. He turned as much as his bindings would allow and saw the whole barn door fly off its hinges. The next thing he knew, Kyle was running in and grabbing him up. Kyle half carried, half dragged Travis out of the barn. 

“You could help you know!” Kyle shouted as he haphazardly heaved Travis head first into the truck.

By the time Kyle got around the truck and in the driver’s seat, Travis had rolled off the seat and was lying face down on the floor. “What the hell?” Kyle mumbled as he lifted Travis back onto the seat.

“It would help if you’d untie me. I might be able to keep my balance if I wasn’t hog tied,” Travis said. 

“No time,” Kyle said and floored the truck. 

“Aren’t the cops arresting those guys?” Travis asked. “Why the hurry?”

“What cops?” Kyle asked. 

Travis was fixing to reply when he noticed flames raging on both sides of the truck. “What the hell?” 

“I burned it, Man!” Kyle yelled. “I couldn’t find anyone back at the main road so I improvised. I figured they wouldn’t be too worried about you if their merchandise was burning to the ground.”

Friday, August 28, 2015

Trees (A Haiku)

©Angel Sharum. All rights reserved.

Rustling breezes play
Whispering colorful dreams
Hues dance along leaves

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

‘Twas the Redneck Night Before Christmas

and all through the house,
not a critter was stirring,
not even the louse.
He had drunk all the eggnog and was completely soused
Granny hung her ripped stockings by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nick would take the hint and give her a new pair.
The kids were all asleep in their beds
with visions of moonshine dancing in their heads.
They had tried some of their dads, and while it had quite a bite,
it sure helped keep them warm that cold Christmas night.
Mama, weary, her bones all stiff,
with the cat in her lap,
had just settled on the couch for a long overdue nap.
When up on the roof there came such a clatter
even dad woke up and asked, “What’s the matter?”
Mama could hardly hear him over the crash.
She wasn’t sure the roof would last.
“Why don’t you go look and then you’ll know,”
She said and tried not to let the fear show.
He screamed and said, “Come over here,
and bring my gun, there’s eight deer!”
She ran over right quick.
She started to hand dad the gun and then saw St. Nick!
Faster than a bullet they came.
St. Nick burped and then called them by name.
“Now, Thrasher! Now, Sampson! Jagger and Wiccan!
On, Homer! On, Stupid! Dandruff and Mitten!”
“Pick up the speed or the sleigh’s gonna stall!
Faster! Faster! Before we fall!”
Mama held her breath and watched the sky.
Knowing that St. Nick was about to die.
You could tell St. Nick had had a drink or two.
But the deer seemed to know what to do.
It wasn’t long until there was more noise on the roof.
They listened hard and counted each hoof.
They closed the door to drown out the sound.
St. Nick was in the house by the time they turned around.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot.
Though they didn’t have a fireplace, he was covered in soot.
He had a huge red backpack.
Mama was disappointed that it wasn’t a sack.
His eyes were bloodshot and a little teary.
His face was red as a berry.
“He’s drunk,” Dad whispered low.
Mama figured he would certainly know.
St. Nick had a joint clamped tight between his teeth,
and around his neck he wore a wreath.
It looked very old and smelly,
and hung all the way to his beer belly.
He was staggering so much he had to hold on to a shelf.
Mama tried not to laugh but couldn’t help herself.
He mumbled something, and shook his head.
Mama was pretty sure she didn’t want to know what he said.
When steady enough, he went to work.
He filled all the stockings except mama’s… the jerk.
Pretending to scratch, he put his middle finger beside his nose,
but mama was not fooled, being no stranger to that pose.
He walked out the door and gave a whistle.
The deer shot off the roof like a missile.
They heard him yell as he flew out of sight,
“Home, y’all, it’s been one hell of a night.”

Saturday, November 29, 2014

True Love

A story written in dialog alone. I did this piece a few years back from a writing prompt. I like the way it turned out.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“I’m so tired, Jake.”

“I know you are, honey.”

“Lay here with me?”

“Of course.”

“Umm, it feels good to have your arms around me.” 

“Shhh, don’t cry, honey.”

“I’m so sorry, Jake.”

 “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry I won’t be here to go RVing around the country with you like we planned."

“I’ll probably never retire anyway.”

“I’m sorry I’ll miss your Christmas ham, and your terrible rendition of White Christmas.”

“The doctor said I have to cut down on sodium, so there’ll be no ham this year, and I’m sure everyone can do without my singing.”

“Oh, no, you have to sing the song, Jake! Promise me you will!”

“Calm down, honey. I promise to bust everyone’s ear drums again this year.”

“Thank you. I don’t want anything to change just because, because…”

“Things have to change, darling. My heart will no longer be whole without you.”

“Oh, honey, don’t cry. I need you to be strong for me. I can’t do it myself.”

“I’m here, honey. I’ll always be here.”

“You always were my rock. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“You would have done just fine. I’ve always told you that you are stronger than you think.”

“I wish I’d been strong enough.”

“You were! You are! There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. The doctor’s told you that, honey. Stop beating yourself up.”

“I know. I just feel so useless, defeated. Why me, Jake? Why me?”

“I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.”

“Promise me you’ll go on with your life, Jake. Meet someone new.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Mary.”

“We need to talk about it, Jake. You don’t need to be alone. You have a lot of life ahead, share it with someone. I want you to be happy.”

“How am I supposed to be happy without you?”

“You can. In time. I’m not saying I want you to meet someone at the funeral.”

“Hush, woman. This is no time for joking.”

“Oh, there’s always time for laughter, Jake. Do you remember at Timothy’s graduation? That bee landed on your nose and you couldn’t get it to move no matter what. I got so tired of you fidgeting around that I smacked you with my program. The look on your face was priceless.”

“I don’t remember it being so funny.”

“Oh, quit your grumbling. You always were a grumpy Gus.”

“And you were always my angel.”

“I worry that I haven’t shown you, or told you enough, how much you mean to me.”

“Oh, honey, I know, because I feel the same. We were made for each other.”

“Two halves of a whole.”

“Two peas in a pod.”

“Now we’re getting silly.”

“Silly is ok. You were always good at silly.”

“Hey! I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.”

“You know it is. I needed your silliness to counteract my stubbornness.”

“You are stubborn, that’s for sure.”

“Hey, you didn’t have to agree with me!”

“Hold me closer.”

“Are you cold, honey? Your hands are like ice. Let me get you another blanket.”

“I don’t need a blanket, Jake. I just need your arms.”

“You got ‘em, babe. I’m right here. Snuggle in close. That’s right, I’ve got you.”
 “I’m so tired, Jake.”

“I know you are, baby.”

 “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, baby. I know, but I’ll be fine. You go rest now. I’ll see you again before you know it.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“I love you, baby.”