and all through the house,
not a critter was stirring,
not even the louse.
He had drunk all the eggnog and was completely soused
Granny hung her ripped stockings by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nick would take the hint and give her a new pair.
The kids were all asleep in their beds
with visions of moonshine dancing in their heads.
They had tried some of their dads, and while it had quite a bite,
it sure helped keep them warm that cold Christmas night.
Mama, weary, her bones all stiff,
with the cat in her lap,
had just settled on the couch for a long overdue nap.
When up on the roof there came such a clatter
even dad woke up and asked, “What’s the matter?”
Mama could hardly hear him over the crash.
She wasn’t sure the roof would last.
“Why don’t you go look and then you’ll know,”
She said and tried not to let the fear show.
He screamed and said, “Come over here,
and bring my gun, there’s eight deer!”
She ran over right quick.
She started to hand dad the gun and then saw St. Nick!
Faster than a bullet they came.
St. Nick burped and then called them by name.
“Now, Thrasher! Now, Sampson! Jagger and Wiccan!
On, Homer! On, Stupid! Dandruff and Mitten!”
“Pick up the speed or the sleigh’s gonna stall!
Faster! Faster! Before we fall!”
Mama held her breath and watched the sky.
Knowing that St. Nick was about to die.
You could tell St. Nick had had a drink or two.
But the deer seemed to know what to do.
It wasn’t long until there was more noise on the roof.
They listened hard and counted each hoof.
They closed the door to drown out the sound.
St. Nick was in the house by the time they turned around.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot.
Though they didn’t have a fireplace, he was covered in soot.
He had a huge red backpack.
Mama was disappointed that it wasn’t a sack.
His eyes were bloodshot and a little teary.
His face was red as a berry.
“He’s drunk,” Dad whispered low.
Mama figured he would certainly know.
St. Nick had a joint clamped tight between his teeth,
and around his neck he wore a wreath.
It looked very old and smelly,
and hung all the way to his beer belly.
He was staggering so much he had to hold on to a shelf.
Mama tried not to laugh but couldn’t help herself.
He mumbled something, and shook his head.
Mama was pretty sure she didn’t want to know what he said.
When steady enough, he went to work.
He filled all the stockings except mama’s… the jerk.
Pretending to scratch, he put his middle finger beside his nose,
but mama was not fooled, being no stranger to that pose.
He walked out the door and gave a whistle.
The deer shot off the roof like a missile.
They heard him yell as he flew out of sight,
“Home, y’all, it’s been one hell of a night.”
A story written in dialog alone. I did this piece a few years back from a writing prompt. I like the way it turned out.
“I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, honey.”
“I’m so tired, Jake.”
“I know you are, honey.”
“Lay here with me?”
“Umm, it feels good to have your arms around me.”
“Shhh, don’t cry, honey.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake.”
nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’m sorry I won’t be here to go RVing around the
country with you like we planned."
“I’ll probably never retire anyway.”
“I’m sorry I’ll miss your Christmas ham, and your
terrible rendition of White Christmas.”
“The doctor said I have to cut down on sodium, so
there’ll be no ham this year, and I’m sure everyone can do without my singing.”
“Oh, no, you have to sing the song, Jake! Promise me
“Calm down, honey. I promise to bust everyone’s ear
drums again this year.”
“Thank you. I don’t want anything to change just
“Things have to change, darling. My heart will no
longer be whole without you.”
“Oh, honey, don’t cry. I need you to be strong for
me. I can’t do it myself.”
“I’m here, honey. I’ll always be here.”
“You always were my rock. I don’t know what I would
have done without you.”
“You would have done just fine. I’ve always told you
that you are stronger than you think.”
“I wish I’d been strong enough.”
“You were! You are! There is nothing you could have
done to prevent this. The doctor’s told you that, honey. Stop beating yourself
“I know. I just feel so useless, defeated. Why me,
Jake? Why me?”
“I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.”
“Promise me you’ll go on with your life, Jake. Meet
“I don’t want to talk about this, Mary.”
“We need to talk about it, Jake. You don’t need to
be alone. You have a lot of life ahead, share it with someone. I want you to be
“How am I supposed to be happy without you?”
“You can. In time. I’m not saying I want you to meet
someone at the funeral.”
“Hush, woman. This is no time for joking.”
“Oh, there’s always time for laughter, Jake. Do you
remember at Timothy’s graduation? That bee landed on your nose and you couldn’t
get it to move no matter what. I got so tired of you fidgeting around that I
smacked you with my program. The look on your face was priceless.”
“I don’t remember it being so funny.”
“Oh, quit your grumbling. You always were a grumpy
“And you were always my angel.”
“I worry that I haven’t shown you, or told you
enough, how much you mean to me.”
“Oh, honey, I know, because I feel the same. We were
made for each other.”
“Two halves of a whole.”
“Two peas in a pod.”
“Now we’re getting silly.”
“Silly is ok. You were always good at silly.”
“Hey! I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.”
“You know it is. I needed your silliness to
counteract my stubbornness.”
“You are stubborn, that’s for sure.”
“Hey, you didn’t have to agree with me!”
“Hold me closer.”
“Are you cold, honey? Your hands are like ice. Let
me get you another blanket.”
“I don’t need a blanket, Jake. I just need your
“You got ‘em, babe. I’m right here. Snuggle in
close. That’s right, I’ve got you.”
“I know you are, baby.”
“I don’t want
to leave you.”
“I know, baby. I know, but I’ll be fine. You go rest
now. I’ll see you again before you know it.”